our first swim was the last swim of summer. you said i needed boys that smelt like the sea; now that they are gone and you are right
memories lurk down by the wooden boats. things i didn’t know about;
i hate not knowing everything.
it is a reminder that the world exists without me,
that i am not a part of everything.
if only i had known then you can only romanticise something when it’s gone, like some kind of consolation prize for your loss.
i will shut my eye, open my legs
and view the world as i see it.
i find myself wishing there was only one place
i had ever known you so i could destroy it.
there are too many places that have part of me.
we drove back the following night and you said we had won and i knew by you saying it
that we hadn’t.